Lesson 09 Agency

I’ve been thinking a lot about agency as it pertains to marriage and relationships.  Elder L.G. Robbins, a member of the quorum of the Seventy in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, gave an inspired talk about anger and agency.  One of the biggest takeaways that I had from the talk was that we choose how we react to what happens around us.  Satan knows that in order to destroy God’s plan, he must destroy the family.  However, he is sly and cunning, and does his best to “dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control.”.  As I contemplated what this means, I began to ponder my relationship with my wife.  There are times that I lose my temper and blame my reaction on something that someone else did.  However, we are taught that this is not true.  We can choose to not react in that way, but rather in a way that will help build the relationship while at the same time fixing the problem.  One way that I recently learned is to make sure you treat the person that you are experiencing conflict with as a person and not an object.  That way you don’t feel the need to dominate them, but rather work with them to come up with a solution that is amiable for both parties.  I know that this works with my wife.  We have had our fair share of fights, but I’ve noticed that when I remember how much I love and care for her, my anger is diminished.  I see her as my wife and I want to do whatever is best for her.